Plop, I jump into the water, grab onto the wall and with my arms behind me I face the pool. TAKE YOUR MARKS, GO! I’m off, the water is flowing around my face. The colourful lane rope beside me slowly changes colour. The further I go it seems like the pool is getting longer. I’m breathing every three strokes. When I breathe I see spectators watching then when I put my head back down I can’t see them any more.
Half way through my legs slowly become lifeless. People are cheering for other people. I can hear them when I breathe but then I can’t. People rocket past me but I don’t care much. I look to both sides and there aren’t any people behind, which means I’m coming last, but I don’t care much (although I would like to come first). I breathe in some water then I start to choke.
The bottom becomes closer which means I’m getting close to the end. I’m nearly at the wall. Ow! I just hit the wall. I raise myself up and then get out of the water. I then receive my time and hand it in. I walk back to my seat and wait for my next race.
Alex, you've given us a great picture of your race: it starts off very exciting then things really change as you get to the halfway mark. I can see you are trying to make your writing more interesting for the reader by varying your sentence beginnings and lengths. I especially like your opening sentence as I can really picture you getting ready to start the race.
ReplyDeleteMrs Idle
Hi, Mrs Idle, thanks for your helpful comment.
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